Life
November 6, 2009
I have learned so much in these past few weeks. I have seen what happena with me not following throigh on my walk with the Lord. Part of or actually the biggest part of my recovery is keeping committed in my relationship with God. I turned to trying to pursue the almighty dollar I fell from my walk. It just does not feel right for me to do that. That entity, God, held me and carried me the roughest times on this walk. And now I try to walk on my own again? Insanity, insanity, That is what this disease of alcoholism tries to do.... get us to be full of self and think we can when we can't. I am sorry dear LORD for my selfish behavior oh yes I am. I have said many things I should't have and made my wife feel like she souldn't. It is not my place to be anything other than what is asked of me by God because everytime I try I fall and fall and fall hareder and hareder each time. That isn't fair to me but much so now the people around me. I look to the Lord for the...
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A Learned Process
October 20, 2009
I am learning more each day. The Lord lays down the path and I am to work at staying on that path. Some days are harder than the other and some easier. There is a balance that has to come of it through trials and tribulations of life. I am learning how big my heart has grown. My wife has chosen to start to see another man and we haven't even divorced yet. I don't even want a divorce never. She has it in her mind that I could never change I am incapable of change. The Lord has done that for me where nothing else could. I am longing for the rsconciliation of my family. I can forgive my wife for engaging in a relationship with this person because I have grown to that capacity of love. The Lord carries me and I know that my family matters more than anything and all things are possible through Him. I forgive, I forget, I love. Where is my family?
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HIS Way or No Way
October 14, 2009
God created us to be complete, mature, perfect. When we fail to measure up to God's standards, our relationships suffer. Our most important relationship, the family, bears the brunt of unhealthy, sinful personalities. The main problem with a dysfunctional family is that its members fail to love each other unconditionally. Because we fail to love each other, we turn inward and become selfish. It is only when we turn our lives over to God that we can love each other. In love, we become what God wants us to be. We become healthy, mature, complete and perfect.
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Listen
October 13, 2009
Welcome to your life Lawrence. I was blessed with having the wife I do. She has been through our own version of a world war and let me tell you. I have learned that only she can tell me about me. Her words the other day were the best things I could have asked for. She laid down the law on my past behaviors......did I want to hear it? Yes, I did but oh my goodness I never figured that I would be agreeing with so much of her conversation, if not all of it. I realized at that point, my life is no longer about me even more than I had thought. Her words, no matter how bold, strong, or rude, were fitting to the max. I know the Lord had His hand in that one. I found a degree of comfort in being told about me like no one else could to hear the hurt, to hear the frustration, was real. It was my aftermath of my decisions made and promises broken. Can I take it back? I did before only to fall back into my selfishness, I don't want it back, it has been taken away by the Grace of God.
Thank you...
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Making it Through.
October 10, 2009
Since then, the family has been under constant stress, pulling it away from what God intended it to be. As we read the Bible, we see the families of some of the greatest men disintegrate into dysfunction. The example of Abraham's family shows that dysfunction is carried from generation to generation. Abraham, the friend of God, allowed jealousy and envy to enter his family when his promised son, Isaac, was born. Sarah demanded that Ishmael, Abraham's son by his servant, be driven out of the family. In Isaac's generation his sons, Esau and Jacob, were jealous and envious of each other. Jacob stole Esau's birthright, and Esau tried to kill Jacob. In the fourth generation, eleven of Jacob's sons were jealous of Joseph. They started to kill him, but greed made them sell him into slavery. Sarah, a Godly woman, gave in to envy and jealousy trying to protect her son, Isaac. The example she set plagued her family for generations. Was this chosen family dysfunctional? YES, in some areas. Does this mean that they were cut off from God's love and blessings. NO! Although they had problems, they still sought to do God's will.
This tells us much about...
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Faith Builder
October 2, 2009
I was going through my personal inventory and putting together the aspects as to why I was feeling out of sorts. I was feeling a headache betwwen my shoulders. The emotions of feeling down because the employment situation is such a struggle. especially with a felony but there are plenty of hobs out there... you just have to practice serenity and balance. The balance of life with all it's different varibles that occur in the process of the day. I looked at self and found a common thread that was about to be cut from me in my addiction. I was not appreciating what the Lord has given me.... everything and anything I come in touch with in the day is His. I remember being in Walk Sayle and looking to the sky and thanking Him for the blue sky, the birds flying free and clear of worry for anything. I would tell people I was remebering to be as a bird... free from all worries in life because the Father takes care of them. that is the life I work to live everyday.. dependant on no one for my faith is Him who provides for those who follow an obedient life for Him...
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Renewing of the Mind, Birth of the New Man
September 28, 2009
God's plan for man's salvation was not something He just threw together after Adam and Eve's sin. In Matthew 25:34 Jesus says that the Kingdom of God was prepared for His followers from the "foundation of the world." Peter says that Christ's sacrifice was known "before the foundation of the world." (1 Peter 1:20) Again we see the idea of planning for the future. Only logical, rational beings plan.God told Israel, "Come let us reason together." (Isaiah 1:18) When we take time to reason with God, the only choice we have is to see the truthfulness and rationality of His position. This does not mean that we will follow Him, but there is no logical way in which we can ignore Him.God is able to create something from nothing. When He created the universe, there was nothing there from which to create it. First, He created matter, then He created the remainder of the universe from that matter. The things we create, on the other hand are made from the matter that already exists. We transform a blank page into a book, play, or song. We transform a canvas into a painting. We transform a scattered...
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Serenity
September 27, 2009
Today I experienced a part of me I thought never possible... SERENITY... I was faced with a situation where I would have been irrational and demanding to say the least. What I found in the matter is that I understand that a power greater than I is involved in everything, so why worry about what I can't change in the flesh but instead grow stronger in the Lord and let Him take care of it. I am merely a man livign a new life and learing as I go. Man is God's steward. He is the caretaker of God's creation. He is God's servant with the job of taking care of the earth and all that it contains. He is God's servant with the job of providing for and teaching his family the "ways of the Lord." He is God's servant with the job of helping God's other servants in times of crises and dangers. He is God's servant with the job of praising
God and following God's commands. In ancient times, stewards were chosen because of their talents of organization, being able to deal responsibly with others,...
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Heavy Letters
September 25, 2009
"Hear all Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all heart and with all soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 14:62
I read statements like that all the time. It is an uderstanding that helped me with the frustrations of the day. Living life on life's terms is a trying thing to do. All I can do is what it says right there. Give, submit, learn, love, Growing up all over again can really be humbling
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It's Never to Late to Start
September 23, 2009
"Everything is possible for he who believes." Mark 9:23 Why would I think of anything else? I can only remember a life of trying so hard to be something, somebody. I was always looking for that way to make the big buck, the big be popular scene. How misled could I be. The absence of God opened the door for ALL aspects of satans influence. What a mess. I think about that in what is going on in my life. I am able to accept the views of others. I remember that I put those negative thought in others mind towards me. I have the undrstanding and acceptance given to me by God. I am so fortunate to have made the right decision for once, I asked the Lord to come into my heart and show me the way. I follow Him because His path is the right one and I want to be there. It is a whole lot more enjoyable than walking a tightrope of addiction."A person who truly believes will set no limits on what God can do." that scripture carries me.. that is my set of foot prints in the sand.
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